


Spaniel Not Corgi

by zaboraviti



Series: Dancing on the Edge [6]
Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen, a crossover you didn't know you needed, cloak and dagger, humor and action, kingsman the secret service au, personnel files and reports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 18:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16023470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaboraviti/pseuds/zaboraviti
Summary: “....That was so fucking cool! Just as this asshole Conroy opened his filthy mouth to call me a “little bitch”, William looked him up and down, imagine this kind of sophisticated stare, then got up and headed for the door. I swear he looked so… purposeful, I even thought for a second that he decided to just leave me there. But he walked to the door and locked it and said in this fucking sexy posh accent, which is by the way a hundred times better and nobler that this dickhead John’s, “Manners. Maketh. Man.”





	Spaniel Not Corgi

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Spaniel not corgi](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/418313) by Lady-in-waiting-ss. 



> any Kingsman fans here? judging by the existence of this fanfic, i assume there must be some overlapping of fandoms but it’s still probably a niche product :) anyhow, today i’m proud to present another Vicbourne AU from the lady who gave us Spice Queenie and many other beautiful alternate universes (you actually have no idea how many, because i haven’t translated even a third of them) – she puts the urge back into demiurge. i don’t know how she does it, i guess once her mind inhabits a universe it becomes her own and she can’t help vicbournizing it. lucky us!  
> oh, and there’s even a video (scroll down). yeah. she’s a fucking genius. i hate her brilliant ass. (in a good way. she knows what i mean. i think.)

 

**_[© Lady Disdain](http://ladydisdainblog.tumblr.com/) _ **

 

**From the archives of the Kingsman private secret intelligence service:**

  

_Order #1295_

_30.04.2015_

Based on the results of the internal investigation conducted upon completion of Operation Albion Dragon, a formal reprimand is issued to agents Lancelot (Personnel file #0016) and Morgana (Personnel file #0021) to be placed in their personnel files. Since the operation is regarded as failed and Agent Lancelot’s actions resulted in the lethal outcome for the subject protected by the Agency (see King William XIV), Lancelot is suspended from field service and transferred to the recruit training program.

  _Arthur_ _(A.W. Wellington (Personnel file #0005))_

 

  

***

 

 _|_ _Personnel file #0016|_

**William Lamb, 11 th Viscount Melbourne**

**Code name** : _Lancelot_

  * **Age:** 49 y.o.
  * **Height:** 6 ft (1.83 m) 
  * **Weight:** 170 lbs (77 kg)
  * **Place of birth:** London, England
  * **Nationality:** UK
  * **Education:** Eton College, Trinity College, Cambridge, degree in international relations
  * **IQ** : 163
  * Served in the British Armed Forces in 1995–2004. Retired in the rank of Colonel.
  * **Skills:** master of hand-to-hand combat, excellent strategist, expert user of all types of firearms, pilots certain types of airplanes and helicopters (see Appendix #1), can detect poison, read lips, proficient in several manipulation techniques (see Appendix #2), can win trust of subjects of both sexes, knows most computer systems (see Appendix #1).Fluent in five languages (English, German, French, Russian, Italian). Easily imitates regional accents, expertly uses slang and jargon.
  * **Criminal record:** Had a fight with G.G. Byron in 1997. Served a term of fifteen days and paid the fine for destruction of public property (₤2000). Spotless military service.
  * **Strong points:** mentally stable, good leader and diplomat.
  * **Weak points:** ex-wife (see Appendix #3), deceased son (see Appendix #3), partiality to alcohol (within the norm, quick to recover). Close relationship with Agent Morgana (Personnel file #0021)
  * **Psychological report:** melancholic, prone to unjustified guilt towards some people from his past (see Appendix #3). Not prone to aggression or losing self-control, gets along with and is respected by other agents.



**Readiness for field service:** 8/10

 **Readiness for coordination service:** 8/10

 

 

_|Personnel file #0021|_

**Emma Portman, Viscountess Portman**

**Code name** : _Morgana_

  * **Age:** 45 y.o.
  * **Height:** 5.7 ft (1.75 m)
  * **Weight:** 123 lbs (56 kg)
  * **Place of birth:** London, England
  * **Nationality:** UK
  * **Education:** Duchess of Buccleuch Girls’ Boarding School. Trinity College, Cambridge, degree in international relations
  * **IQ** : 165
  * Head of the Parliament Security Service for five years.
  * **Skills:** excellent strategist, master manipulator, easily extracts information from subjects, expert user of most types of firearms, pilots all types of airplanes and helicopters (see Appendix #1), master of political espionage, can detect poison, read lips, proficient in known manipulation techniques (see Appendix #2), can win trust of subjects of both sexes, knows most computer systems (see Appendix #1). Fluent in seven languages (English, German, French, Russian, Italian, Ukrainian, Arabic). Easily imitates regional accents, expertly uses slang and jargon. 
  * **Criminal record:** Had a fight with G.G. Byron in 1997. Released on bail an hour after being detained.
  * **Strong points:** loyal, level-headed, psychologically stable.
  * **Weak points:** husband, two children (see Appendix #3). Close relationship with Agent Lancelot (Personnel file #0016)
  * **Psychological report:** phlegmatic, logical, pragmatic type. Easily hides her weakness even when it comes to the revealed important vulnerable points but is capable of acting rashly. Strong maternal instinct. Talented liar. Chatty in personal conversations, laconic during operations.



**Readiness for field service:** 6/10

 **Readiness for coordination service:** 10/10

 

 

***

_Transcript of phone conversation between Agents Morgana and Lancelot_

_Date: 15.05.2015_

_Duration: 05:12:07_

 

 **Morgana:** If you’re calling to moan how bored you are, bear in mind that I’m going to just record this “conversation” and go finish my Pride and Prejudice marathon.

 **Lancelot:** Pause it, I’ve got something real here.

*six seconds of breathing into the receiver, with TV playing in the background (Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in a wet shirt talking on the screen) (hereinafter transcriber’s notes))*

 **Morgana:** Done. Start talking.

 **Lancelot:** I think I've found what we need.

 **Morgana:** A self-help book? How to Sit Tight and Keep Your Head Down? Will, I’m begging you, I got off easy with that slap on the wrist from Arthur. I’m really sorry about what happened to you but could we please have at least six relatively calm months, is that too much to ask? We’re not eighteen anymore, you know.

 **Lancelot:** But she is.

 **Morgana:** *sigh* Who?

 **Lancelot:** See, you’re already intrigued...

 **Morgana:** You’re not going to let it go anyway. Well, who is she?

 **Lancelot:** Victoria.

 **Morgana:** *heavy sigh* What Victoria?

 **Lancelot:** How are you even a coordinator? Get there faster, my lady.

*ten seconds of breathing into the receiver*

 **Morgana:** Oh no.

 **Lancelot:** Not the reaction I expected.

 **Morgana:** Wellington will never say yes.

 **Lancelot:** You do know this conversation may be recorded?

 **Morgana:** Don’t change the subject! 

 **Lancelot:** She’s a perfect fit! Brilliant education, excellent gymnast, tried to enlist in the army to spite her mother… And her rap sheet? Get this, bobbies once chased her across Hyde Park all night long until they cornered her in some backstreet. And she would have escaped… if the wall hadn’t been too high.

 **Morgana:** If this is true, she’s even more of a liability than you are. I don’t understand what’s there to admire. 

 **Lancelot:** She’s a breath of fresh air, Emma. It’s about time all the snooty conservatives at the agency got a galvanizing kick in the crotch.

 **Morgana:** That’s what the Kensington Angels think too. Three reports of terrorist acts in preparation within a month. And you want to put the most adequate contender for the British throne in the line of fire!

 **Lancelot:** Do you maybe want to, I don’t know, post the Agency contacts on Instagram or something?

 **Morgana:** Well, don’t call me on a regular phone without a secure line. And you’re not going to bring this girl to our school. I forbid it.

 **Lancelot:** Actually, it’s too late. I spoke to her this morning in a café. Well, it wasn’t exactly morning… Four o’clock, I think. And it wasn’t a café exactly, more like a taxi stand in front of a pub. But--

 **Morgana:** *heavy sigh* She didn’t call the police, did she? You’re not calling from Scotland Yard, are you?

 **Lancelot:** I’m calling you from my kitchen. Pressing an ice pack to my eye.

 **Morgana:** Jesus wept…

 **Lancelot:** I’m telling you, she’s something else. I didn’t even see it coming. Of course, then I was on top o--

 **Morgana:** She is your late best friend’s daughter. 

 **Lancelot:** *embarrassed* That’s not what I meant. 

 **Morgana:** *snidely* I don’t know what _that_ is, I certainly didn’t mean anything like _that_ , whatever you meant. I don’t even want to know what it was.

 **Lancelot:** Anyway, the reason I’m calling in the first place is the guys have sent me their candidates’ records and there are bets already. Are you in?

 **Morgana:** Holy shit, and you let them?

 **Lancelot:** It's so boring in HR…

*Morgana switched off*

_Request_

 to connect all telephone units installed at my place of residence to a secure line and provide full anonymity.

  _Agent Morgana_

_16.05.2015_

 

  

***

_Pages extracted from the diary of Victoria Saxe-Kent (Personnel file # 0108). Entry dated 16.05.2015_

“....That was so fucking cool! Just as this asshole Conroy opened his filthy mouth to call me a “little bitch”, William looked him up and down, imagine this kind of sophisticated stare, then got up and headed for the door. I swear he looked so… purposeful, I even thought for a second that he decided to just leave me there. But he walked to the door and locked it and said in this fucking sexy posh accent, which is by the way a hundred times better and nobler that this dickhead John’s, “Manners. Maketh. Man.”

Conroy’s face first showed utter incomprehension, then an imprint of a beer mug and then he came crashing down on the floor and the only thing I regret is that it didn’t occur to me to take out my phone and capture this epic humiliation on video. Then John’s bodyguards attacked William, these useless four hundred pound bruisers, and William put them all down without even messing up his hair. Shit, I sound awful. Like a groupie or something.

But this William is definitely special. If there’s one thing I know, it’s assholes and this man is not one. I think he doesn’t even mind that I freaked out and gave him a black eye. And thank goodness, the black eye is hardly visible behind his shades.

He looks like a professor from a dumb romance movie, you know, with the three-piece suit, fancy shades and awesome rear view. This is probably my compensation for my Oxford dons, every single one of whom looked more like an anthropomorphic Jabba the Hutt.

But I digress… So, having annihilated those overgrown, overfed babies, William was nearly stabbed by some thug who apparently found a spontaneous pub fight a thrilling prospect. He and his three mates. But William opens his umbrella and, turns out, it’s bulletproof, I swear! Knives bounced off it and William turned it and knocked three of them out with the heavy rook-shaped handle. The fourth one ended up with a broken jaw.

It was like a James Bond movie, except I was still alive at the end. Then again, I’m not exactly a Bond girl.

So we got the hell out of the bloody pub, and Will told me more about his offer as we walked to Savile Row. To be honest, I was about to say yes right on the spot. But Mommy could be proud of me: I may never be this refined lady and some lord’s wife but I am quite capable of controlling my emotions, thank you very much. Sometimes. Not when the greenest eyes in the entire motherfucking world are staring at me.

So, yeah. I said yes almost right away but he pretended that’s how it was supposed to be. Perhaps that right hook passed for long hesitation and thorough analysis on my part (Jesus, I’m still so embarrassed but back then, in the dark, after all that beer, I mistook him for Conroy. It’s so great that I’m finally getting out of this asylum, so the dubious pleasure of contemplating that disgusting mug (now with a broken nose I should think) is exclusively Mommy’s now.)

Tomorrow I’m supposed to wait at the same place, at that ditsy tailor’s. I guess the diary will have to stay at home. I don’t think keeping detailed account of every day is exactly a commendable habit in this line of business…

 

_***_

_Transcript of CCTV records: recruits of year 2015, Test #1 (transcript, analysis and commentary by Agent Gawain (E.C. Coburg (Personnel file #0105))_

 

_18.05.2015_

Recruits’ quarters. 

 

_00:55 UTC_

All is quiet. Two hours after lights out, almost all recruits are asleep. Candidate #2 smuggled in periodical publications of erotic persuasion. Merlin announces over PA that if Candidate #2 keeps this up, his trembling fingers will let him down at the firing range. ~~Good banter, sir~~.

After the PA announcement things perked up a bit. #6 and #9 laugh at their colleague. The others wake up, drop a few f-bombs and fall asleep again almost right away.

 

_01:40_

The test starts. Water floods the room. None of the candidates shows miracles of intuition. They sleep like logs.

 

_01:41_

Water almost reached the mattresses on their bunks. It’s going to happen any second now.

 

_01:42_

Candidate #5 is the first to wake up, followed by Candidate #7. #5 nervously scratches his mustache and yells in German. ~~(I didn’t know my baby bro even knew this kind of words. I’m so proud. I’ll be rooting for him after all.)~~ #7 jumps off the bed, water almost reaches her waist. She wakes her closest neighbors.

 

_01:43_

Water floods the bunks. All candidates are up. #1, #3 and #7, due to their small stature, already have to swim.

 

_01:44_

~~Miss Wet Shirt pageant is in full swing.~~ Just 4 feet until water reaches the ceiling. #8 and #5 figured out they need to find the hoses and dive right in. The others dangle about on the surface. #1 and #3 are close to panic.  ~~#4 looks divine with her long wet hair hanging loose. Like a mermaid. Naiad.~~

 

_01:46_

#5 and #8 are back on the surface and tell everyone to dive to the bottom. Water reaches the ceiling.

 

_01:47_

It seems like #7 realizes that sitting tight and breathing through the straw is not an option. She finally notices the glass and crosses the 6-m long room in 18 seconds. Well done, baby! #7 is plenty brainy but not brawny enough. The glass won’t give. 

 

_01:48_

~~Oooh, dat look! This girl is going places! She’s the one who smashed good ol’ Lancelot’s handsome sulky face in, right?~~

The water level is stable. After an extremely furious and convincing eye contact #4 swims over to help #7, moving her divine endless legs.

 

_01:49_

#4 and #7 are joined by #5, #6, #8 and #9. Their combined efforts break the glass and everyone ends up on the other side of the glass.

 

_01:50_

Merlin comes in and says that Candidates #1 and #3 are out due to their susceptibility to panic and lack of initiative.  ~~Too bad: #1 has a first-rate ass.~~

 

_Request_

 to relieve Agent Gawain of his report writing duties insofar as pertaining to the recruits’ tests.

 _Merlin_ _(R. Peel (Personnel file #0033))_

_25.05.2015_

 

 

***

_Recruits of year 2015: reports and recommendations_

_Page 18_

**Victoria Saxe-Kent, Duchess of Yorkshire**

Test #1: passed

Test #2: passed

Test #3: upcoming

Final test: upcoming

Candidate demonstrates excellent leadership skills but is barely controllable. She does not listen to anyone except Agent Lancelot and prefers training with him. Friendly almost with all other candidates with the exception of #6, Flora Hastings. Apparently, there are old scores to settle.

Physical parameters are well within the norm. Candidate won seven out of ten sparring matches with other candidates. Quick and decisive.

Candidate has formed a strong attachment to her dog Dash (Cavalier King Charles spaniel, 2 years, male). This could be a problem at the final test.

 **UPD 13.06.2015** : Candidate’s attachment to Agent Lancelot has reached a dangerous level. She found out that the latter was going undercover to penetrate the Kensington Angels and attempted to sneak out of the base with him. CCTV caught her in the garage. Disciplinary action: candidate will be the test subject for Agent Morgana’s new gadgets.

 

 

***

_Operation Lamb in a Wolf Skin: Report_

_By Agent Lancelot (W. Lamb (Personnel file #0016))_

_Written by Agent Gawain (E.C. Coburg (Personnel file #0105) as told by Agent Lancelot during the latter’s stay in the infirmary)_

Upon arrival in Romania, it was found that the leaders of the Kensington Angels are London based. The local members of the syndicate did not know the exact location of the detonator and had no other purpose than monetary profit. The religious fanaticism version is recognized as untenable. A political coup attempt is most likely. My recommendation is to step up security measures for all members of the royal family until the Kensington Angels investigation is complete.

 

 

***

_Transcript of CCTV records. 21.06.2015_

  

Recruits’ quarters. 

 _17:47_ _UTC_

 

Candidates #4, #6 and #7 have just been briefed for the third test.

Candidate #6: I think they’re just taking advantage of us, because we’re girls. Nice entertainment, watching us grind on that boy.

Candidate #4: Give me a break, Flora. You knew what you were getting into. This is not a summer camp.

Candidate #7: Harry, don’t. If she has a problem with something, she can get the fuck out of here.

Candidate #6: Oh Vicky, and what would your mother say if she heard what kind of language you’re using?

Candidate #7: I don’t give a shit what she’d say.

Candidate #6: Well, I’m not sure what your mother would say but I know that Sir John would be convinced that you are indeed a “little whore” now. I remember being told that was how he referred to you after “Mr. Sharp Cheekbones” brought you here. ( _What_ _a_ _bitch_ _!_ )

#7 slapped #6 so hard that #6 fell ( _you go girl!_ ). #4 dragged #7 away before the conflict had a chance to develop.

 

 **Note** : Ernst, you have been relieved of report-writing and transcribing duties. Rewrite this one and stay away from the archives. _Agent Arthur._

 **Note** : I never touched this report, Sir. As far as I know, Merlin dealt with this one personally. _Agent Gawain_.

__

_***_

_Transcript of phone conversation between Agents Morgana and Lancelot_

_Date: 21.05.2015_

_Duration: 02:02:16_

 

 **Lancelot:** I’m fucked.

 **Morgana:** I have never heard this kind of vocabulary from you, so I can well believe it. *sigh* What’s wrong?

 **Lancelot:** Victoria is here now. In my house. In my living room. And I’m pretty sure she’s not wearing anything under that coat.

 **Morgana:** Fuck.

 **Lancelot:** Exactly.

 **Morgana:** How did she get away? 

 **Lancelot:** Great powers of persuasion, obviously. And excellent camouflaging skills. Also, she’s so small that she easily avoids our cameras by just, you know, hugging the walls.

 **Morgana:** What did she tell you? Why is she there?

 **Lancelot:** She said she was nervous because of tomorrow’s test.

 **Morgana:** I trust you haven’t blabbed that a train will be coming at her but it’s nothing to worry about?

 **Lancelot:** Of course not! She clearly still believes she’ll just have to seduce someone.

 **Morgana:** And she decided to use you as practice ground… Wait a sec. Shit. Shit.

 **Lancelot:** What?

 **Morgana:** Is she a virgin by any chance?

 **Lancelot:** How would I know? This is not something one usually asks a young lady they have just met.

 **Morgana:** But you did put her personal records together, didn’t you? Did she have any boyfriends?

 **Lancelot:** *sigh* As far as I remember, none. But I just thought, oh, good, here is a serious, goal-oriented girl, hard at study, no distractions…

 **Morgana:** What are you going to do now?

 **Lancelot:** I’m going to ask for your advice.

 **Morgana:** Of course you are.

 **Lancelot:** No need to be sarcastic, my lady.

 **Morgana:** Improvise, you, employee of the month.

 **Lancelot:** So you think it would be okay if I…

 **Morgana:** Alright, let’s look at it this way. She’s your late best friend’s daughter. She’s your protégé. She’s a nice girl.

 **Lancelot:** And?

 **Morgana:** Talk not fuck, you idiot!

 **Lancelot:** That might be a problem.

 **Morgana:** You’re not--

 **Lancelot:** I swore it off after Carrie, you know that. But Victoria is so… She has this fire in her eyes…

 **Morgana:** Well, don’t look into her eyes then. Gather up all your willpower and just tell her it would be insubordination, and there are things agents have to learn from their own experience.

 **Lancelot:** You are a shitty pedagogue.

 **Morgana:** Great friend though.

*Lancelot switched off.*

 

 

***

_Pages from the diary of Victoria Saxe-Kent (Personnel file # 0108). Entry dated 27.05.2015_

...And then Merlin is like, “Shoot the dog.”

I think I could shoot him on the spot at that moment. Dash just sat still between us, looking at me with his huge trusting eyes. I am so ashamed that I even tried and raised the gun. Dash tilted his head, staring at the gun in bewilderment. My heart nearly burst.

I don’t know how I could do this. I don’t know how I would have gotten through this without Will’s support. Two days before the test, when I came to him, so nervous and naïve… head over heels in love… He said I had to learn to trust my coordinator at all times. Always. No matter how wild or extraordinary the orders may be.

That’s probably why I could pull the trigger. Because of Will’s voice in my head.

Who was right, as always. It was a blank. I hope Dash will forgive me someday…”

…I swear I knew it was John Conroy! I always knew! Head of an international terrorist syndicate. It might well have been written on his forehead. Anyway, Will paces the pub floor, in this dramatic confident manner, as if it hadn’t been yesterday that doctors extracted a bullet from his stomach. So he paces, describing Conroy’s plan, while Conroy looks totally freaked by the way, like we’re in a classic crime story. Except that the murderer is just an asshole instead of the butler.

And then I hear my name — William starts talking about me. Turns out, he brought me to the Agency to protect the contender for the throne to the maximum, to take me out of the danger zone. A bit shitty plan, if you ask me, but according to Morgana, William does sometimes get caught up in old-fashioned romantic cloak and dagger ideas.

Lancelot stops talking and chaos ensues. There’s a wild gunfight, half of the pub is smashed to splinters. I dive under the table and crawl to the counter, as Merlin tells me through the earpiece. Good thing is I’m about as big as a fourteen-year-old. I even break a couple of legs on the way and knock one son of a bitch out with a taser.

And there it is, the case, under the counter. Just as I reach for it, everything goes quiet. They probably ran out of bullets. Morgana tells me we need to break the deactivation code. I hear Will calling my name.

The rest is kind of a blur. A hand grenade pin lands next to me, I grab the case, jump over the counter and make a run for the window. The blast blows me out into the street in a cloud of shards. I feel like every bone in my body hurts but I pull myself together and somehow jump into the approaching cab. Ernst is behind the wheel, Harriet in the passenger seat. Bullets smash the rear window, one hits my shoulder but bounces off the bulletproof fabric of the suit…”

 

_***_

_Transcript of the audio recording made during Operation Victoria Day_

_11:25 UTC_

London

Inside service cab No BH123

Engaged agents: Merlin, Morgana, Lancelot, Gawain, Guinevere and Morgawse.

 

 **Morgana:** Covent Garden, and step on it.

 **Gawain:** Yes, ma’am.

 **Morgana:** Guinevere, do you have the case?

 **Guinevere:** Yes, ma’am.

 **Merlin:** Ensure its complete stability.

*pop of a burst tire, brakes squealing*

 **Guinevere:** I’m trying!

 **Merlin:** Morgawse, press the panel under the AC.

 **Morgawse** **:** Got it, sir.

*sound of hammer being cocked, car locks clicking, the volume of outside noise increases*

 **Gawain:** Fuck me...

 **Morgana:** Eyes on the road, Gawain!

*gunshots*

 **Gawain:** No, seriously, did you see that? She was hanging out of the bloody car! I swear the mere presence of this woman is orgasm-inducing!

*pop of a burst tire, screeching of suspension on the asphalt*

 **Morgana, Merlin, Lancelot, Guinevere:** Shut up, Ernst!

 **Gawain:** Keep your knickers on, I got this!

*sound of the car crashing into a lamppost*

 **Merlin:** Guinevere, is the case alright?

 **Guinevere:** If the Buckingham Palace is still standing, I think the case is fine.

 **Lancelot:** Almost there. Hang in there, just another minute.

*car locks clicking*

 

 

***

_Order No 1449_

_28.05.2015_

 One month’s leave and two months’ salary bonus are awarded to Agents Lancelot (Personnel file #0016), Morgana (Personnel file #0021) and Merlin (Personnel file #0033) for the valor demonstrated during Operation Victoria Day. Agents Guinevere (Personnel file #0108), Gawain (Personnel file #0105) and Morgawse (Personnel file #0109) are promoted to senior agents. Candidate #5 (A.C. Coburg) is appointed technician at the Engineering Department.

  _Arthur_

_(A.W. Wellington (Personnel file #0005))_

_Request_

 to Agent Arthur (Personnel file #0005) to let me retire, by reason of newly appointed agents who are bound to drive me to the looney bin.

  _Merlin_ _(Personnel file #0033)_

_28.05.2015_

  **Request denied**. If you go, Morgana, Lancelot and I won’t last long.

 

 

_Order #1449_

_28.05.2015_

 Agent Lancelot (Personnel file #0016) is hereby transferred to the position of Senior Coordinator and will be hereinafter referred to as Merlin. By reason of him being the only one whom Agent Guinevere (Personnel file #0108) listens to. Former Agent Merlin (Personnel file #0033) is transferred to the position of Head Engineer at the Engineering Department.

 _Arthur_ _(A.W. Wellington (Personnel file #0005))_

 

  

***

 

_|Personnel file #0108|_

**Victoria Saxe-Kent, Duchess of Yorkshire**

**Code name** : _Guinevere_

  * **Age:** 22 y.o.
  * **Height:** 5.1 ft (1.57 m)
  * **Weight:** 112 lbs (51 kg)
  * **Place of birth:** London, England
  * **Nationality:** UK
  * **Education:** home-schooled, one year at Oxford, specialized in law. Graduated from the Royal Academy of Music, degree in piano performance.
  * **IQ** : 151
  * Was the official heir presumptive to the British throne for two years after her birth, until the line of succession was changed by the royal decree of her uncle, King William XIV.
  * Two months in SWAT training camp with good results — taken out of the program after her mother’s lawsuit (see Appendix #3).
  * **Skills:** street fighting, karate, capoeira, can use some types of firearms (see Appendix #1), plays polo, excellent equestrian. Can win trust of subjects of both sexes, knows some computer systems (see Appendix #1). Employs extremely rough and straightforward but effective negotiation methods. Fluent in three languages (English, French, Chinese). Easily imitates any UK regional accent or dialect. Expert in European and continental art, esp. literature and painting.
  * **Criminal record:** Was detained three times for destruction of public property by way of graffiti. Twice ran away from home before coming of age (see Appendix #3). Was reprimanded during service for arbitrariness and risking principal’s life (see Appendix #4). 
  * **Strong points** : decisive and persistent, excellent willpower, physical parameters within the norm, excellent leadership qualities, can demonstrate cunning and gumption.
  * **Weak points** : mother (see Appendix #3). Attachment to her former nanny L. Lehzen. Experienced strong discomfort during the final test due to strong attachment to her dog Dash (Cavalier King Charles spaniel, 4 years, male). Dangerous attachment to Agent Merlin (Personnel file #0016).
  * **Psychological report:** choleric, with deep-seated inferiority complex, quick-tempered and stubborn but can restrain herself. Doesn’t always get along with other agents but commands their respect and is capable of teamwork. Open to learning and improvement.



**Readiness for field service:** 7/10

 **Readiness for coordination service:** 5/10

 

_Memo_

Suggestion to change Agent Guinevere’s code name to Nimue, otherwise her and Agent Merlin’s duo makes no sense.

  _Gawain (_ _Personnel file_ _#0105)_

 

 

 


End file.
